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The Worst Cooking Show Ever

Clearly, the rule is this. If you've managed to get yourself a TV cooking show, do not, under any circumstances, rhyme.

I mean, the Next Food Network Star crowned Aarti Segueira, who then hosted a show called Aarti Party, which I stopped watching when she made something called a "Huggy Buggy Bread Pudding", and a part of my soul died forever.

The Next Iron Chef: Season Three

So, here we are again.

Two years ago, the first Next Iron Chef competition was held. The set was somewhat awkward, the challenges were elaborate, and the winner was Michael Symon, who's proved to not only be a hell of an Iron Chef, but a breakout star on Food Network/Cooking Channel. His run on Dinner: Impossible pissed on Robert Irvine from a great height, his Cook Like An Iron Chef is the best cooking show on TV right now, and he's even being tapped in a ripoff of Travel Channel's "Food Wars".

A Tale Of Two Salsas


As I mentioned on Twitter this afternoon, the New York Times put up a profile of Guy Fieri that was essentially an IKEA catalog - if IKEA sold reasons to punch Guy Fieri instead of flat-pack furniture.

Here, in digest form, are all those punchable things.

Private Chefs Of Beverly Hills

The first cooking show ever to win a War Crimes designation on Forkbastard isn't currently airing on Food Network, but since Scripps never throws anything away (c.f. the Cooking Channel schedule), there's no guarantee it won't appear again, and thus, you should all be warned.

As the name implies, the series follows a group of private chefs, heretofore known as the Douchebags, who are hired for dinners and private events by obscenely rich people, heretofore known as the Motherfuckers. It's the closest any cooking show has ever come to My Super Sweet 16.

Cooking Channel First Impressions, Part Two

Still plowing through a DVR full of cooking shows. I also taped an epsiode of Galloping Gourmet, which Food Network used to show back in the day. It's chock full of light sexism, ugly shirts, and a complete disregard for cross-contamination. It's kind of awesome. But as for the real shows:


Nice and to the point. The premise is that he's a restaurant chef who films a TV show on his day off. It appears to be filmed in his actual restaurant and kitchen, and he's comfortable and precise and refreshingly without affectation. 

Cooking Channel First Impressions: Part One

Yesterday, the Fine Living Network became the Cooking Channel. Since the one decent thing FLN showed - reruns of Japanese Iron Chef - will still be airing on Cooking Channel, this is an unmitigated win for everyone with cable except the three people who watched FLN's constant reruns of The Biggest Loser.

Good Eats: Now In Season Sets

That took long enough.

Rachael Ray got season sets. Diners, Drive-Ins, and My Horrible Nineties Hair got season sets. Good Eats had... weird theme compilations. But Alton finally has his due... sort of.

The "bad" news is that they look fairly slim and cheap and, like most of the Food Network DVD's, are only at Target. Season 1 and Season 2 are the only ones available, shelf price $16,99.

Guy Fieri Has An Entourage

So one of the things that crossed my eyeballs in my giant krill-stream of RSS news that I feed off of for YAD is a two minute video of Guy Fieri talking about his 19-20 person entourage.

This is simultaneously the best and worst thing ever, at least as it relates to Guy Fieri.

The Worst Cooks In America


So I've been watching The Worst Cooks In America for two weeks now, and I can officially say that the reality show format is murdering a whole bunch of perfectly good ideas at the Food Network. Seriously. It's following them down a dark alley and bludgeoning them to death with a crowbar.

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