Television

warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/forkbastard/public_html/modules/taxonomy/taxonomy.pages.inc on line 33.

@midnight Power Rankings: 3/16-19

Another week, another set of @midnight Power Rankings. As always, this is a purely subjective ranking based upon show performance and not a judgment on the individuals involved, their talent, or any effects of writing and editing.

1. Ron Funches (W)
2. Ricky Velez (M)
3. Alice Wetterlund (M)
4. April Richardson (T)
5. Jesse Joyce (M)
6. Paul Scheer (T)
7. Erinn Hayes (Th)
8. Rob Huebel (Th)
9. Sean Patton (T)
10. David Wain (Th)
11. Bianca Kajlich (W)
12. Rick Glassman (W)

The Week In Superhero TV Holy Shit Moments

I could do recaps, I could do reviews, but let's face it, the only real reason we watch the golden age of superhero TV is for the HOLY SHIT moments. So now that we're through the big Tuesday-Wednesday block for superhero shows, let's take a look at those moments.

The Flash:

HOLY SHIT Eobard Thawne!
HOLY SHIT Accidental Time Travel!
HOLY SHIT Anti-Weather-Wizard Wand!
HOLY SHIT Oh that's gonna get undone by the time travel.
HOLY SHIT Oh that's gonna get undone by the time travel too.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.:

HOLY SHIT May's Ex-Husband!

@Midnight Power Rankings: Mar 9-12

Right, I'll be trying out a bunch of ideas as OLDNERD moves forward. So this week, as I got caught up on @Midnight, everyone's fovorite comedy game show since Bunk got cancelled, I thought I'd just rank the comedians' performance over the course of the whole week.

This isn't judging them as people, or even as comedians. It's just how they performed on the show, knowing that writing and editing and whatnot play a big role so it's nothing personal

That said, clearly, if there's one episode to catch from last week, it's Monday's - first-rate stuff from all three comedians. The rankings:

Powers S1E1 - Pilot

Old nerds are living in a bit of a golden age right now when it comes to superheroes. Comics we read ten years ago, twenty years ago, or even thirty years ago are being used as the basis of movies and TV shows. And a lot of the time, unless Zach Snyder or Roberto Orci are involved, they don't suck.

Wang?!

Your horrific Guy Fieri vocabulary-mangling utterance of the day:

"Vinegar! That's what's giving you that tang, that wang in there."

If there's wang in the barbecue sauce, Guy, they must have known you were coming.

Cutthroat Kitchen (5/25)

Is Chef Maverick the single worst contestant in three seasons of Cutthroat Kitchen? Gave himself a sabotage, finished early, didn't add fat to his bison, and tried to spend more money than he had in the third auction of THE FIRST ROUND. And then went home for dry food.

Fucking amazing.

Nice to see the simultaneous deadly biases of "women are not a threat" and "pastry chefs are not a threat" playing themselves out as per usual.

Cutthroat Kitchen

When I went to bed last night, warm in the glow of rediscovering my love for cooking competition shows, I laid my head on the pillow comfortable in the knowledge that the next morning, I could just tell you about it, without opening with a long digression, reiterating how the AV Club is wrong about stuff.

I mean, who would have thought they'd even have bothered reviewing Cutthroat Kitchen, much less missing the point in such spectacular fashion? But they did, because it's what they do, and so now, since a lot more people read that than this, I must provide a certain counterpoint.

More Next Iron Chef

When last we left, my predictions were as follows:

Mendelsohn
Estes
Appleman
Greenspan
Love
Freitag
Vigneron
Guarnichelli
Mehta
Falkner

Love went out in Week 1, Estes in Week 2, and it's time, before I watch Week 3 on the DVR, and without looking, I promise, my revised rankings:

Vigneron
Mendelsohn
Greenspan
Freitag
Appleman
Guarnichelli
Mehta
Falkner

Appleman moves up a few spots because I always hope he'll go out early. Vigneron drops way down because he's proving hella more mediocre than I remember.

Next Iron Chef: Redemption

And it's that time again. A seemingly short while after the Unholy Ascent of Zakarian and the point at which I stopped watching Iron Chef America almost by accident, we have a new season of The Next Iron Chef, and it's a Loser's Ball! AKA All-Star Challenge, AKA Iron Chef: Redemption. Which means, with a few hours left before airtime, it's time for a new set of predictions. Here's the cast.

Top Chef: Texas

Yeah, I've been watching this too.

We're, what, four weeks in? Five? I think four. It's the early days of a Top Chef season, nobody really gives a shit. You spend the first month just trying to figure out who you like and dislike, the second month waiting for the mediocre people to leave, and the third month paying attention.

Syndicate content