This is a tale of two bags of chips. One purchased, and one simply stared at in utter disbelief.

Yes, I spotted two new flavors in Lay's line of flavor-dusted Kettle Cooked chips this week. The first is called "Creamy Mediterranean Herb". It's a name that brings to mind the flavors of Greece, possibly Italy, possibly even Northern Africa. What's in it?

Oregano, basil, and white cheddar.

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled plans to blog about the new kitchen and the fancy meals prepared there with farm-fresh ingredients. Target's got more new chips.

This time it's reduced-fat kettle chips, apparently occupying a vital niche between the many flavors of kettle chip, the many flavors of ruffle chip, and the many flavors of baked potato "crisps" that make up the Archer Farms swath of the snack aisle.

The Hostess family of products carries a certain undeserved cachet with my generation. I don't know if it's because they were less processed back then, or if it's just the ad campaign in the comic books that showed superheroes actually defeating world-domination plans with their tasty goodness, but they hold a mystical sway over those of us whose formative years were in the 70's.

I've eaten two bags of something Google refuses to acknowledge the existence of. Limited edition, Bacon/Cheddar Cheese/Pretzel Combos.

The Combos site makes no mention of them. In other news, I went and looked at the Combos website, where I learned that I am apparently a "Combivore". It's a good thing I really fucking love Combos, because that's the kind of marketing that would make me drop a lesser snack so fast it'd shatter on impact, spreading a mushroom cloud of flavor dust for several square miles.

A lot of food types like to talk about the perfection of the simple roast chicken. But that's played out. I'm here to talk about the imperfection of the even simpler roast chicken: the portachicken.

Ah, to heck with it. I found the image of the specific spice pouch I bought, and I've got ten minutes. I'll write it up now.

I haven't cooked all fucking week.

Cathy returned from California yesterday. Amongst the various and sundry items acquired during her travels was a box of cookies she knew I'd love, even though I'd never seen or heard of them before:

So, after an experiment over the summer, sugar Pepsi has returned to stores with an even more retro logo than the weird cursive blue-on-blue Pepsi Throwback had before.

I'm a big fan of a lot of the prepared foods at Trader Joe's. It tends to strike a nice balance along the price, taste, and health axes. So when, a couple of weeks back, I found a twelve ounce bag of pork al pastor in their freezer case, I was pretty excited.

I love me some pork al pastor. A little smoky, a little spicy, a little crispy, a little fatty. It's one of my favorite toppings at Taqueria Los Ocampos. I've tried to make it myself, with some success, but it's a bit fussy. So if Trader Joe's managed to come up with a decent frozen version, it'd be very useful.