We now interrupt our regularly scheduled plans to blog about the new kitchen and the fancy meals prepared there with farm-fresh ingredients. Target's got more new chips.

This time it's reduced-fat kettle chips, apparently occupying a vital niche between the many flavors of kettle chip, the many flavors of ruffle chip, and the many flavors of baked potato "crisps" that make up the Archer Farms swath of the snack aisle.

So, in the interests of curiosity and snacking, I ate a can of multi-grain Cheesy Cheddar Pringles last week, and I'd just like to take a moment to laugh in the Pringles' guy's bow-tied, moustachioed face. Ready? HA HA HA.

About a week ago I idly mentioned the existence of First, Second, and Third Degree Burn Doritos, in which America's most ubiquitous corn chip was hosed down with the increasingly spicy flavors of jalapeno, buffalo, and habanero.

I have since partaken of the jalapeno ones, a.k.a. First Degree Burn, and I am simultaneously under- and over-whelmed. Remember Late Night Dorito Jalapeno Popper flavor? Well, it's back, only now it's got extra pepper spray!

Yeah, it's been another slow week. I made a nice variant of the asparagus soup with tarragon and garlic, and learned the hard way just how much fucking fun it is when woody asparagus strings wrap themselves tightly around the shaft of an immersion blender, but otherwise, nothing blogworthy.

Luckily, Pepsico's penchant for putting out proper sugar versions of its corn syrup sodas continues unabated, as today's Target run led to the discovery of Sierra Mist Natural, an all-sugar, no-corn-syrup variant of the lemon-lime soda that's not as good as Slice was.

OK, I think I'm done. After multiple visits to multiple Targets (for other reasons - I'm not that snack-chip crazed), I have determined that there are seven different flavors of the new thick-cut chips. Which is an odd number and an odd number, if you catch my drift, so possibly an eighth may appear in the future. But anyway, since I'm not touching Greek Inspired with my ten-foot pole, here are the last two.

HONEY BARBECUE RIBS:

Oh, I will work my way through all of these flavors eventually, in the hopes of finding a good one. I picked up two more bags at Target today.

GENERAL TSO'S:

I have a couple of backlogged posts to work on about creative, fresh, original meals cooked with organic produce straight from the farm, but those posts will be delayed because there are new flavored chips on the shelves at Target.

And even more importantly, they're not very good.

Welcome to Walking backwards Through Chicago, a series of posts in which I detail the food joys of my recent Chitown trip in reverse order. Why in reverse order? Because one, some of the pictures from the early trip may take a while for me to get at, and two, the more sleep I get, the more I'll be able to remember.

So it's that time of year again, the time of year when PepsiCo irritates the universe with its sugar-water extreme election, which it has dubbed "Dewmocracy" for the express purpose of pissing me off.

If I ever compile a list of shit I really should never, ever, eat, the Strawberry Twizzler has got to be near the top of that list.