Why Alton Brown Is, Or Should Be, Your Food God


If there is one single person on your television you should be paying attention to in regards to food, it's Alton Brown. The food nerd's food nerd, the man has almost a decade and a half of television under his belt, plus three books. And his body of work is as close to a comprehensive guide to the world of home cooking as exists on the planet. Plus it has puppets. And while you certainly can go wrong with puppets, you can also go very, very right with them.

The Glory That Is Izze

Sweet merciful goddamn, I love me some Izze.

I had my first Izze, a pomegranate, almost exactly one year ago, on a hot campsite in Wisconsin. It was heavenly. A cold, glass bottle of sparkling fruit juice, crisp and tart.

Pan-Seared Salmon With Chard, Kale, and Rice


A somewhat haphazardly assembled dinner based on one part what I wanted (salmon), one part what needed to be used (chard and kale from the CSA), and one part what we had on hand (cooked basmati rice). To recreate this, you'll need:

Vaguely Asian Soup

As I mentioned in my first post, my three great hobbies are food, pitying fools, and video games. And it is in relentless pursuit of that third hobby that, for over a decade, I and a group of my friends have gathered, each Monday, to kick each other's asses. And eat. It didn't start out with the eating. It originally started out after dinner. But my friend Drew, who these days cooks up a storm and now keeps our shared pig in his freezer, would frequently, in those early early years, show up without having eaten. Anticipating this, I started cooking a little extra for him.



It's almost a given that I shop at Costco, really. It's precisely the kind of store that fits in with my somewhat laissez-faire attitude toward food politics. On the one hand, Costco is not an ideal food supplier for people who need or want to meticulously source their products. On theother hand, at least it's not Sam's Club. Sam's Club is a gray pit of despair.



My plan was to do a short write-up of Tensuke Sushi, in the Baker Building, in the Minneapolis skyway. It's a place I used to eat at a lot before the economy went in the shitter, and I loved it. Simple rolls, of the usual fish-avocado-cucumber-spicy mayo variety, but fresh and well-made and inexpensive. And today, circumstances lined up so that I'd be going there for the first time in a long time. Only it wasn't Tensuke Sushi anymore. It was Sushi-Do.

The Twin Cities Patty Orgy: Smashburger


First, let me mention something I forgot to say whenI covered Burger Jones. Burger Jones has free WiFi. Any restaurant that has free WiFi wouild, if I used star ratings, earn an extra half-star on that basis alone. I don't care if it's sit-down with waiters, counter-service, or fast food. Slap in a Net connection and an unsecured router and I will fondly remember you when it comes time for future visits. So kudos to Burger Jones for fulfilling that need.


I've told you why, and now I'm going to tell you how. 

You'll need:

Long John Silver's Baja Fish Taco

What the fuck is this?

This is Long John Silver's Baja Fish Taco, a culinary item so egregious I'm inaugurating a new section, War Crimes, just to talk about it and its ilk. Things that should not be. Things that even I, with my love of certain fast and processed foods, want to wave a torch and a pitchfork at.

Make Your Own Guacamole, Dammit

I'll be making a new batch of guacamole in the next day or so, and you can expect a proper recipe post when that happens, but right now, I want to wax philosophical.

I am not one of those people who believes that the only good food is food that is made from scratch in one's own kitchen. Sometimes it is. And sometimes, there's a product out there on the shelves that's cheaper, easier, and almost as good as if you'd made it yourself. I take it like I take everything - on a case by case basis.

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