Blatant Cross-Promotion

Of interest to those of you who may not read both - the Friday You Are Dumb column deals, at least tangentially, with the nascent boycott of Whole Foods over the CEO's editorial on health care reform.

I say tangentially because it's mainly an excuse to make jokes at the expense of idjits. Quelle surprise.


The Frequent Four: Spices

In the spirit of thinking about everything I do in or near a kitchen or restaurant as a potential blog post, I present the Frequent Four. Why a Frequent Four? Because the last time I was at Penzey's, a place I really do need to do a proper post on one of these days, I bought four empty eight-ounce spice jars. I bought these with the intent of filling them with the four seasonings, other than salt and pepper, that I use the most.

The Code Of The Self-Checkout

If this confuses you, run away from it.Ah, the self-checkout station. I don't know about your city, but in these parts, every new or remodeled supermarket has four of the things. They are a gift... and a curse.


Some say the Mary Ann variety is hotter.Fresh ginger is one of those irreplaceable ingredients. There's no dried, powdered, jarred, or tubed alternative that can come close. But it's not the most convenient stuff in the pantry.

Rainbow Foods (St. Louis Park)

I love Costco, but fuck knows, you can't get everything you need there. Which means I need a regular grocery store to go to. Now, the closest grocery store to me is Whole Foods, but that's as much of a specialty market as Costco is, only more expensive. The second closest is Byerly's, but seriously, fuck Byerly's. I do not trust carpeted supermarkets. When I started You Are Dumb in 2004, one of the things that inspired me was how much I hated shopping at the nearby Byerly's.

The Bachelor-Time Sandwich

I classify this as a recipe in only the loosest of terms. This is a sandwich I make for myself when nobody else is around, mainly because I can't imagine anyone else would like it, or at least like it in the evil, wrong way I like it You'll need:

Catching Up

So it's been a long week. One without much time or energy to write columns or blog. But cooking did take place during that time, oh yes.

There was a batch of my fauxsole, my variant on the Mexican soup posole, featuring chorizo from The Pig, lots of fresh chilis, and hominy. I've got plenty of the chorizo, so trust that a proper breakdown of this will appear in the future.

Trader Joe's "Tapas"

Some days, you don't wanna cook much. Maybe you're tired. Maybe one of your toes hurts for no good reason and you want to stay off your feet some. But at the same time, maybe you don't want to spend the time and money on a meal out. If you have a Trader Joe's near you, there is an evil, yet satisfying solution. Trader Joe tapas.

Vaguely Indian Fried Potatoes

Kind of made this up on a whim tonight, and it worked out, so I'm glad I measured things. You'll need:

Jack Links Sweet And Hot Beef Jerky

In the world of snacks, beef jerky is a tricky, tricky beast. Assuming you don't want to shell out for the good stuff, commercial beef jerky comes in two forms. Dry, tough, traditional beef jerky, which ranges from completely fucking awful to pretty good, and then processed beef-like substances labeled as beef jerky, but with a consistency somewhere between Slim Jims and dog treats.

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