Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (June 13-18)

Another week of nothing happening in the WWE.

Don't get me wrong. Some entertaining stuff happened on the shows. The New Day did an extended riff on a pair of shoes nobody likes that I only figured out once I looked it up on the Internet because I'm old. Some of the never ending combinations of Cesaro/Zayn/Owens/Ambrose/Jericho/Del Rio that kept interacting over and over again were fun. Seth Rollins was great on Raw.

But it was still just treading water to Money In The Bank, which I suppose I should predict out.


Dudley Boys vs. Lucha Dragons

Unless there's been a feud on Main Event or Superstars, I don't know why this is happening, other than to get these four guys paid. Dudleys have been jobbing a lot lately, and since I don't think they're on a "put everyone on the roster over" farewell tour, they'll get the win to make Kalisto feel bad about his life choices.

Golden Truth vs. Breezango

At least this has a reason. I don't like the reason. I don't care about the reason. I want this reason to die in a fire so Tyler Breeze can do something more interesting. But at least it has a reason. I believe it's time for Golden Truth to get their big happy ending, but I may be wrong because I've been fast-forwarding through all this shit for months.


Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin

I don't even know where this feud stands anymore, but last time either of these guys were on TV, Corbin squashed Zack Ryder, so by booking logic I'm gonna say Ziggler wins tomorrow.

Apollo Crews vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is in a movie right now (he's fuckin' Rocksteady in Bayturtles 2) and Apollo is new and angry at Sheamus. I'm gonna say Sheamus wins here because WWE doesn't give a fuck, and if they do, they want this to keep going because otherwise they'd have to find new shit for both guys to do.


Rusev vs. Titus O'Neil (US Championship)

Anything other than RUSEV CRUSH PUBLIC SPEAKING CHARITY GUY would be a travesty. Rusev retains.

Charlotte and Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch and Natalya

They've been teasing a split between Brooke and Charlotte as if they've somehow built the Brooke-Charlotte relationship up so that a split might matter. It doesn't. I would normally predict Lynch and Natalya winning because they can win safely because there aren't any title implications, but I'm gonna say Charlotte and Brooke, because last time I saw Charlotte she was getting pinned by Paige.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Cena always wins the war, but he's happy to lose a battle first. The question is, is this a one-off match or an extended program between them? If it's a one-off, it'll be Cena. But I'm going to bet on an extended program, because Styles needs a win after his loss to Reigns last month.

New Day vs. Vaudevillains vs. Enzo and Cass vs. The Clerb (Fatal Four-Way, Tag Championships)

I think the New Day are going to drop the belts without getting pinned. I think they need a redemption arc to solidify their face status and really get the crowd behind some of the exceptional wrestling they've been doing lately, and not just the dancing and tromboning. That means a Clerb win, because a program between New Day and Enzo/Cass would be a mistake. And the G's don't need the titles yet. The Vaudevillains aren't getting the belts anytime soon, and should be looking warily at the Lucha Dragons being on the pre-show. So Clerb wins.

Cesaro vs. Zayn vs. Owens vs. Ambrose vs. Jericho vs. Del Rio (Money in the Bank Ladder Match)

This one's a bitch to call. Ambrose and Cesaro are the most likely choices based on career momentum, but they're both faces and Reigns isn't losing the title because Reigns. So if they win it, it'll be a slow burn, but slow burns with MitB only really work with heels, not faces. Of the heels, Owens is the only one who deserves it. It could provide a good prop for his character and it's ego. Zayn is the long shot. I don't think they're ready to push him to big belt status just yet. He strikes me as an inevitable Intercontinental Champ when The Miz and the WWE remember it exists. So I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Owens and also predict that Jericho's going to slow the Jericho chunks of the match to a crawl.

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins (WWE Heavyweight Championship)

It's gonna be Reigns, because Seth Rollins can't beat Roman Reigns for the title and stay a heel. He's had to work extra hard at being a heel just to get half the crowd to boo him leading up to this match. And yeah, there's been a lot of Shield foreplay on TV this week, with Ambrose coming out and saying outright if he wins the briefcase he's gonna cash in after or during the title match tonight, but there's no way he'd have predicted that on TV if it was going to happen. So more of Reigns being "the guy", bleah.

Meanwhile, over in NXT, Shinsuke challenged Finn Balor to a match based on a great premise the WWE doesn't use more - Nakamura deciding that he doesn't deserve to go for the championship if he can't beat the former champion. SHould be a hell of a match, whenever it occurs. Nothing else of note happened beyond the giant motherfuckers who destroyed American Alpha at Takeover getting a proper name, the Authors Of Pain.