Oh, The Metahumanity! (May 15-19)

And Legends of Tomorrow Season One is on the books. The books are called Fuck That Noise Volumes One Through Eighteen Or Whatever. So let's start with a much more successful season finale.

Agents of SHIELD: "Absolution/Ascension" (10% Stupid)

Let's talk about telegraphing character deaths. Agents of SHIELD did that this season with the cross and jacket on the Quinjet In Space. We saw it at the beginning of the season, we learned it was Daisy's vision of the future, and we spent the last half dozen episodes of the season watching the cross get handed off from person to person because the writers knew that we knew that the person with the cross would die. That's cute, but it' salsa irritating. It's meta drama. It's poking the Internet and giving the hordes of rampant speculators something to talk about. It's distracting.

That said, Lincoln was an excellent choice to die, because he will be missed the least. Grant Ward's actor is finally, definitively out of work, SHIELD got anopther solid season-ending victory through hard work and competence, the Daisy stuff was strong, and the teaser for next season, with Daisy gone rogue (presumably) and Coulson out as director of SHIELD made me want to watch next season in the best way. Good show. Have a biscuit.

The Flash: "Invincible" (30

The Flash also telegraphed a death, or at least something horrible happening, both through the preview that basically said "this episode is about Barry's confidence fucking him over" and the plot hammering that home with zero subtlety. Apparently, the Speed Force is an asshole, deciding to make Barry come to terms with his mother's death so that his overconfidence could be shattered by his father's death. It's cheap and manipulative and also The Fastest Man Alive just fucking stood there pleading with Zoom for like a minute without even trying to save his dad. He could have tried and failed and it would have had more impact.

Also, maybe pace your season better. End of last episode: OH NOES METAHUMAN ARMY. Two thirds of the way through this episode WE CAUGHT THE METAHUMAN ARMY YAY! On the upside, they actually had Caitlyn leave when Zoom let her leave, which was unclear at the end of the last episode. Also, I know they need it for visual dis ambiguities at high speeds, but wasn't Zoom's blue lightning the product of a speed drug he no longer needs because he stole Barry's speed?

The rest of the episode was fine. Points to Caity Lotz for playing evil doppelgänger better than certain other people have.

Arrow: "Lost In The Flood" (0% Stupid)

I have no issues with this episode. It's a fairly standard penultimate episode, in that it's largely clearing up some loose ends (Thea in the underground ark) and setting things up for the final showdown. Sure, Dhahrhkh;'s new nuke-fueled power levels didn't come into play past the cold open, but that's mostly because the action was happening away from him and in areas where magic is useless. We resolved the. Smoak Family Drama, we put an end to our succinct, superior version of Under The Dome, and the island flashbacks continued toward something that will probably play into the final showdown. Also, I really wonder if next season is going to be the end of Oliver's secret identity - there are more hints that Star City's Beloved Green Arrow Oliver Queen is imminent.

Legends of Tomorrow: "Legendary" (50%

Legends Of Tomorrow went out in classic form. Making up new arbitrary shit about time travel, generally wasting our time with pointless bullshit like the sequence where Rip flies the meteorite into the sun (literally NONE of that was necessary or made any kind of sense) and doing JUST enough to trick me into thinking maybe the next one will be better.

Also, at least for now, Leonard Snart is perms dead, so, you know. Fuck you, show. Agents of SHIELD knew better than to kill off it's most appealing character. Vandal Savage is dead, but Kendra didn't even kill him. She started to kill him and then Rip Hunter finished the job and oh also Rory killed him and Sarah killed him because time travel bullshit.

And then we have the ending and Season 2 setup. Rory, Sarah, Ray, Stein, and Jax agree to help Rip Hunter protect the timeline from, well, nobody really, because all the time travelers are dead and all the time ships except this one are blowed up. The Hawkpeople have left, and thank fuck for that, because they are awful and useless and the show for some reason decided to mix up the Ancient Egypt Hawkpeople with the Thanagarian Hawkpeople even though tying together multiple weird origin stories is what always ruins Hawkpeople. And at the end, Hourman shows up and mentioned the Justice Society in a bit of nerdbait so shameless even I have to approve of it.

So I think Season 2 of Legends of Tomorrow is gonna be recaps only, and not AV Club recaps either because they give this show way more credit than it deserves, which is both inaccurate and out of line with AV Club editorial policy.