There's going to be a lot of wrestling at Wrestlemania. So much so that apparently they need SIX HOURS to show it all to us, including two hours worth of kickoff show. Both hours online, one hour also on basic cable. Which is nuts. So to break up the predictions, let's get the pre-show stuff out of the way.
Team Total Divas (Natalya, Paige, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie and Brie Bella) vs. Team BAD And Blonde (Lana, Tamina, Naomi, Emma and Summer Rae)
Apparently, this match has been brewing on the lesser shows (Main Event, Superstars) which is why I don't know anything about it. On Raw this week, there was a big mosh, and the save was made by the surprise fifth member of Team Total Divas, Eva Marie. Everybody hates Eva Marie. It did not go well. I'm guessing Team Total Divas wins here to promote the show.
The Uso's Vs. The Dudleys
Justly relegated to the pre-show. Booking logic dictates an Uso win here and Dudleys going through tables. So I'm going to go with that, even though this match is totally irrelevant and who wins doesn't matter.
Kalisto vs. Ryback for the United States Championship
So, good thing John Cena spent the better part of last year "elevating" the US Championship, so that by Mania time it could be relegated to a shitty pre-pre-show match. I have to pick Kalisto here. Because if Kalisto doesn't win, and Ryback does, we're in for another month of the same big guy little guy bullshit they did with Kalisto and Del Rio, except with an even bigger guy I enjoy watching even less. So please, Kalisto, win this one for all of us and go on to feud with someone who can keep up with you in the ring.