Motherfuckin' Lucha Underground (3/23)

I cannot even begin to discuss what a match Aztec Warfare II was.

OK, let me try. JAYSUS. Right off the bat, Fenix, the champion, comes out at #1. #2 is the debut of Rey Mysterio Jr., and the Temple goes apeshit. I mean, there's not a lot of headroom between the loudest crowd reactions in Lucha Underground's past and the loudest possible reaction any Lucha Underground crowd can have, but this snuck in there.

The first chunk of the match, roughly the first nine entrants, was basically "everyone gets to spend some time working with Rey", because, well, everyone wanted to spend some time working with Rey, and there's nothing wrong with that. This section brought out some great moments, including Joey Ryan handcuffing himself to the outside railing to keep himself from being pinned or submitted in the ring, a point that would come up repeatedly throughout the match until the final payoff.

Then Cage enters at #10, and we shift to Storyline Rivalries. Cage attacked Mundo. Taya and Mundo attacked Cage. Cage vs. Mack for a bit, Drago and Jack Evans went at it, then PJ Black and Aerostar joined the fun for a sequence involving the four guys from Bathroom Nunchuck Fight.

The final sequence began with #18, the debut of Dragon Azteca Jr. He got in some great-looking offence, including an insane dive to the outside over not just the top rope, but the corner ringpost. And then, #20. Mil Muertes. Comes down the stairs and is attacked by Pentagon Jr., denied entry to th ematch by Katrina. Pentagon beats up Mil for a bit and tosses him in the ring, where he's eliminated almost immediately by Rey and Puma! HUGE SHOCKER. But not the biggest shocker.

Catrina is furious at Pentagon and his master, Vampiro. But while she's yelling at Vampiro (and dropping an f-bomb in the process), the drums sound. Why are the drums sounding? All the entrants have been announced. But then, at the top of the stairs, DARIO CUETO. And the Temple FUCKING EXPLODES. Cueto announces a 21'st entrant, his brother, Matanza, looking like if TNA's Abyss were a character from The Dark Knight Returns. Matanza's chyron lists him as, I shit you not, THE MONSTER MATANZA CUETO. And he starts throwing people around like Brock Lesnar and no-selling hits like Braun Strohman.

BOOM. Standing powerslam eliminates Fenix.
BOOM. Bridging German suplex eliminates The Mack.
BOOM. Bridging German eliminates Aerostar.
BOOM. Sit-out powerbomb eliminates Texano.

Then Matanza spots Joey Ryan, still handcuffed to the railing. So he comes down, rips out the bar of the railing, throws Ryan into the ring, and BOOM. A trio of waistlock suplexes eliminates Joey Ryan.

Dragon Azteca Jr. Does some dodging and some kicking and lasts a little while. Longer, but BOOM. Swinging chokeslam eliminates Dragon Azteca Jr.

Chavo Guerrero tries to make a deal with Cueto and align himself with Matanza, but BOOM. Standing shooting star press (!) eliminates Chavo.

The final two opponents, Puma and Rey, double-team Matanza and get some licks in, but Mysterio gets tossed out of the ring and BOOM, bridging German eliminates Puma.

So now it's Rey vs. Matanza for the title. Rey dodges. Rey kicks. Rey flies. Rey attempts a 619 and Matanza CATCHES IT. Tries another one, it connects, he goes for the top rope rana, gets caught AGAIN, tossed in the air, and BOOM, standing powerslam eliminates Rey. Matanza is the champ, Cueto's back in control, and after two viewings in 16 hours, I still can't believe how great that was.