Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (Aug 10-13)

Next weekend's a big one for WWE. On Saturday we have the NXT show, before their biggest ever crowd in Brooklyn. And the next night is the four-hour Summerslam. Needless to say, the first show is way more interesting. But we'll start with the main roster stuff.

SETH ROLLINS VS. JOHN CENA

The best part of this feud is still the marketing department's quickly-produced Seth Rollins shirt with "YOU CAN'T SEE KNEE" on the back. Cena's still either out or "out" with his broken nose. We'll see if he's in the live parts of Tough Enough tomorrow and if so what kind of shape he's in. I assume he's fine and they're just milking it for story purposes and he'll show up as a surprise or not surprise on Raw next week to accept Rollins' Summerslam challenge, otherwise, the pointless contender's triple-threat and OK Rollins-Orton title match this week would have played out differently. On Smackdown, Rollins did his part to help the Cesaro-Ownes feud, tagging with Owens against Cesaro and Neville in the show's only real watchable match.

BROCK LESNAR VS. UNDERTAKER

Do you like video packages? Because that's all you got this week.

KEVIN OWENS VS. CESARO

So Owens and Cesaro battled Randy Orton in a triple-threat match on Raw to see who would face Rollins for the title later that night. As you've already read, Randy Orton won it. The match was, quite frankly, a sloppy mess until the last five minutes or so, when Randy Orton stayed out of the ring and Owens and Cesaro found a vague semblance of a groove. And then Orton came in, RKO'd both of them, and pinned Cesaro, because fuck Randy Orton. Why is Big Show getting the "please retire" chants? Why are the smarks sitting on their hands for Orton instead of booing him like they do Cena? At least Cena's trying to be a more interesting wrestler. This match did very little to further an Owens/Cesaro feud. Why they didn't have their simmering animosity blow up and cost them the match is beyond me. Orton was blissfully absent from Smackdown, and the tag match mentioned above kept the Owens-Cesaro fires going.

PRIME TIME PLAYERS VS. NEW DAY VS. LOS MATADORES VS. LUCHA DRAGONS

The four-way at Summerslam is official, with Los Matadores earning a shot in the four-way by losing clean to The New Day in a normal tag match on Raw without the PTP on commentary, because who gives a fuck, I guess? And then the PTP beat the New Day on Smackdown, so maybe New Day are getting the titles back this weekend.

ROMAN REIGNS AND DEAN AMBROSE VS. BRAY WYATT AND LUKE HARPER

This feud continues to slouch toward Bethlehem, with both former Shield members getting the "privilege" of wrestling Luke Harper, once on each show.

THE DIVAS REVOLUTION CONTINUES

So much for my prediction last week. This week they announced the Summerslam match - the three three-Diva teams will be facing off in a big elimination mosh at Summerslam for no stakes. And they keep mentioning Brie Bella's lengthy title reign. Clearly, they want to take the "longest title reign" away from no-longer-with-WWE AJ Lee and so the Diva's Revolution is going to spin its wheels for at least another month. Decent matches on both shows but not much else going on.

NEVILLE & AMELL VS. STARDUST & BARRETT

The original rumors were that there'd be a Summerslam tag match featuring Stardust and The Miz vs. Neville and Amell. This makes sense because Miz is an "actor". But Ryback's knee is better, which means we're getting Ryback/Show/Miz at Summerslam, which means poor King Barrett is shoehorned in as Stardust's tag partner. On the upside, King Barrett got essentially squashed by Neville so they could get to the Amell stuff, which makes up for Neville losing King of the Ring to Barrett a couple of months back.

BIG SHOW VS. RYBACK VS. THE MIZ

The only reason I'm giving this a section this week is that Miz had Daniel Bryan on MizTV for a bit before Show interrupted, and Bryan talked up his "New York Times bestselling" book. But for the past week, they've put up graphics about it, and bragged that it hit #20 on the NYT Bestseller lists. I don't know if you're that familiar with the current state of book publishing, but I'm pretty sure hitting #18 or so on the Non-Fiction Hardcover list (best showing I could find) could be achieved just from everyone employed by WWE buying one copy. Not a slam on Bryan, just an observation about WWE self-promotion.

And the NXT Roster Feuds/Stories:

BAYLEY VS. THE NXT WOMEN'S TITLE

Bayley wins as texpected to get the title match at Takeover. I think they've dropped the ball here, though. With Bayley having to go through two very popular faces - Charlotte and Becky Lynch - to get the title shot against heel Sasha Banks, they really needed more drama and story around her climb to get the crowd behind her. I know it's weird to want more drama and story to support the technically excellent matches in WWE women's wrestling, but a post-match handshake with Lynch and/or some additional evil from Banks would have done wonders for the story.

KEVIN OWENS VS. FINN BALOR

Finn Balor defeated The Monster Because He's Bald Marcus Louis in a light squash, alllowing Kevin Owens to attack him post-match and leading to an exchange that ultimately left Finn laying. Also, the ladder match at Takeover is official. I expect Balor to retain, because while "first two-time NXT champion" is a sobriquet worthy of Owens, his work on the main roster means he Balor needs the belt more.

THE VAUDEVILLAINS VS. BLAKE AND MURPHY

A backstage segment continues the tease of a female ally of the Vaudevillains, likely as a surprise reveal the night of Takeover. If they play ther cards right, it could be epic.

TYLER BREEZE VS. JUSHIN "THUNDER" LIGER

Just a promo.

BARON CORBIN VS. SAMOA JOE

When Baron Corbin came out to instasquash another jobber, the first thought that came to mind was "either do something with Baron Corbin or get him the fuck off my television". Getting choked out by Samoa Joe in the center of the ring is certainly doing something with him. It sets up a Joe-Corbin match at Takeover, which I hope is as definitive and Joe-dominant as this sequence was, but that's not gonna happen. The crowd was all over Corbin in the worst way, though - chanting "We want wrestling!" and "Boring!" until Joe choked him out when the chants turned to "THANK YOU JOE". At this point, after a year, Corbin's either ready or he's not. If he's not ready, Joe needs to destroy him.

NEW GIMMICK ALERT!

Ty Dillnger, last seen engaging in high-level tag-team jobbing with Justin Jordan, has slightly miscalculated. His new "Perfect 10" gimmick is intended as "arrogant heel" in the Rick Rude style, but he's come up with some gestures and chants that the crowd, or at least the Full Sail crowd, loves to chant. The Full Sail crowd has not yet decided to give two shits about Solomon Crowe, despite several introductions, so Dillinger's victory over Crowe kind of established him as a face, which may not be the intent.