Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (July 27-30)

Battleground is on the books as one of the most disappointing PPV's of the year, and the week following it in WWE programming is basically saying that either WWE doesn't know what it's Summerslam plans are beyond Brock-Taker, or they know and aren't going to tell us. And there's only three hours of Lucha Underground left before the wait for Season 2 begins.

LUCHA UNDERGROUND IS STILL AWESOME

ULTIMA LUCHA HAS BEGUN.

The first hour of Ultima Lucha was a bit sloppy and a bit gimmicky. Cage defeated The Mack in a "Falls Count Anywhere" match that included a spear through a door, a wooden... something being broken over someone's head, someone being hit with a cooler, The Mack downing two beers and hitting Cage with a Stone Cold Stunner in one of the best, funniest spots in the entire show, and finally, Cage putting Mack's head through a "cinder block" so gimmicked it left a trail of powder behind it when Cage dragged it into position. But it was still a ton of fun, except for the parts where the lighting and camera guys failed to keep up with the action.

Unfortunately, the Trios championship match, featuring the Disciples of Death claiming the titles from Team Havoc after Katrina brained Ivelisse with the mystical rock she controls the Disciples with (THIS IS WHY I LOVE THIS SHOW) wasn't up to Team Havoc's usual standards. The Angelico dive spot was overly telegraphed and not that spectacular, the cameras again had a tough time following the action, and the match never really gelled as a story. But keep in mind a subpar match featuring these guys is still better than nearly any given tag match on WWE.

The main event featured Drago vs. Hernandez with hand-picked Lucha Underground fans surrounding the ring with leather straps to beat the shit out of Hernandez with. I am not a huge fan of Hernandez, but credit to him for putting himself in that situation. The match wasn't a technical masterpiece, but nobody in Lucha Underground is more over with the crowd than Drago is, and so the crowd reaction tore the goddamned roof off the Temple.

Next week. Two hours. Five matches. I cannot wait.

WWE

One more week of shows before Battleground and here's where things stand.

KEVIN OWENS, JOHN CENA, RUSEV, SETH ROLLINS, CESARO, AND MAYBE SHEAMUS AND ALSO MAYBE RANDY ORTON?
The mist that is the upper mid-card of the WWE started to clear a little bit on the road to Summerslam. Seth Rollins and John Cena faced off on RAW in a match notable for Rollins accidentally legit breaking the shit out of Cena's nose. And Kevin Owens interfered in Cesaro's match on Smackdown. This all seems to point to Cena/Rollins in a Champion vs. Champion match, and Owens/Cesaro. But the match Owens interrupted was with Seth Rollins, Owens wrestled Randy Orton on Raw until Sheamus and Cesaro interfered. Meanwhile, Rusev held a puppy and a fish on RAW, and took too much time to squash poor Jack Swagger on Smackdown. And then Smackdown ended with a Rollins-Owens / Cesaro-Ambrose? Literally, there could be an eight-man elimination match at Summerslam where the next to last guy gets the US Title and the last guy gets the Heavyweight Title the way this buildup is going.

And let me take a moment here to specifically call out that bullshit Randy Orton/Kevin Owens match on Raw. Someone decided Orton wouldn't let Owens get any decent, credible offense in on Mr. RKO. The match was awful, the ending was awful, the Cesaro "rescue" was awful. Everything about it was awful.

BROCK LESNAR VS. UNDERTAKER
Literally nothing happened with this all week.

PRIME TIME PLAYERS VS. NEW DAY VS. PROBABLY LOS MATADORES AND LUCHA DRAGONS:
STOP PUTTING THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS ON COMMENTARY. I don't care how many teams they'll be facing at Summerslam or who wins, I'll just be happy they're in the ring and not pretending to be funny next to the actual announce team.

ROMAN REIGNS AND DEAN AMBROSE VS. BRAY WYATT AND LUKE HARPER
Eighteen months ago, Bray Wyatt's spooky promos were a highlight of whatever show they were on. But a bunch of losses and constant changes to his motivations and a series of increasingly shittier master spooky plans have made dimly lit video promos full of beards an instant fast-forward. And there were two really long ones, one on each show this week. Meanwhile, Dean Ambrose continued his two-month reign as "guy you put in other feuds instead of giving him one of his own" by joining Cesaro in the Smackdown main event tag.

OH SHIT I HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE DIVAS NOW

WWE rewarding talented athletes continued this week, as it was Becky Lynch's turn to get a clean pin on an esablished Diva on Raw. Overall, these matches have been better paces and just meant more since the talent infusion, so I'm enjoying this while it lasts.

NEVILLE VS. STARDUST:
Stardust tore up a picture of The Arrow after Neville's squash of Fandango on Raw, leading to rumors that Known Fan Stephen Amell will be participating in this feud in some way when Summerslam rolls around. Then Stardust beat R-Truth on Smackdown with a finisher called the "Queen's Crossbow" and told R-Truth he had "failed this city", so, you know. Less a rumor and more of a prophecy. This is a fun little feud, even if the whole comic book / superhero thing is being hammered home with the WWE's traditional subtlety fail.

And the NXT Roster Feuds/Stories:

BAYLEY VS. THE NXT WOMEN'S TITLE

Bayley wrestles Charlotte next week, and her definite win in that match was made to seem more important and impressive this week by having Dana Brooke brag a lot anc then get crushed by Charlotte. I could watch that every single week, since I'm apparently going to still be forced to watch Dana Brooke every single week.

KEVIN OWENS VS. FINN BALOR
Owens squashed a bald guy and apologized to William Regal for hitting him during the contract signing. Not much of a buildup here.

TAG TEAMS, TAG TEAMS, TAG TEAMS
Three tag matches this week. Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson, a couple of talented but generic big guys in red trunks, got elevated to Real Tag Team status by beating Enzo and Cass, which makes me wonder if the Enzo and Cass push is well and truly over and they'll go back to their usual role of reciting their long, popular intro every three weeks in meaningless matches.

Jason Jordan and Chad Gable got another win over jobbers. Gable continues to outshine Jordan. He's sort of the love child of Brian Kendrick and Kurt Angle, so I'm predisposed to like him.

And finally, in the main event, the Vaudevillains get cheated out of the tag team titles when Alexa Bliss interferes. This is awesome ews. A clean win over the VV's meant that someone else would get a shot at the titles at Takeover Brooklyn. This finish, and the post-match shenanigans, almost guarantees the crowning of the Vaudevillains as tag champs in Hipstertown, NY. Also, the match itself was really fast and intense, which makes me interested in the rematch despite my hatred for Blake and Murphy's weird vague characters.