Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (July 20-23)

Battleground is on the books as one of the most disappointing PPV's of the year, and the week following it in WWE programming is basically saying that either WWE doesn't know what it's Summerslam plans are beyond Brock-Taker, or they know and aren't going to tell us. And there's only three hours of Lucha Underground left before the wait for Season 2 begins.

LUCHA UNDERGROUND IS STILL AWESOME

And now we know what the MYSTICAL AZTEC MEDALLIONS are for. Once seven people have them, they magic-magnetically snap into sockets on the GIFT OF THE GODS belt. And the seven competitors commpete for the GIFT OF THE GODS belt. And if you hold the GOTG belt, you can challenge for the Lucha Underground title whenever you want. Not in a cheap-ass weakened opponent way like the Money in the Bank briefcase, but you can ask for a shot and, once it's been properly promoted, you get the match. But it's also a title belt in its own right, so if you don't cash it in, you may have to defend it. And then, once it's been cashed in, the medallions get removed and fought for until seven people have them again.

I fucking love this gimmick.

Anyway, the returning Fenix reclaimed his amulet in the main story of Wednesday's show. Prince Puma and Mil Muertes had a faceoff and this time Prince Puma got the upper hand. Fun fact - in an entire season of Lucha Underground, there has been one champion, and that champion has never spoken, and it's still been compelling TV.

In other news, Cage and The Mack, aka Lucha Ron Funches, set up their hardcore match at Ultima Lucha, which starts next week with the first hour and finished with two more hours the week after. The Gift of the Gods title match has also been added to Ultima Lucha. And finally, Tejano and Johnny Mundo wrestled, in what I think is the only "Two guys in two different feuds wrestle to cross-promote their feuds" match in Lucha Underground history. Considering any given week of WWE programming includes 2-3 of these, that's impressive as hell.

WWE

One more week of shows before Battleground and here's where things stand.

KEVIN OWENS, JOHN CENA, RUSEV, SETH ROLLINS, CESARO, AND MAYBE SHEAMUS?
The finish to the Owens-Cena match at Battleground crystallized a post I need to write soon on The Problem With John Cena. Owens tapped to Cena's STFU, and the match was very good, but I don't think that really matters as much as people want it to. I'm not sure where this is going from here - the Raw main event tag match with Cena, Cesaro and Orton vs. Owens, Sheamus, and Rusev, and that broke down into a mess. Seth Rollins talked with Cena on Raw and fought Cesaro on Smackdown, but Owens beat up Cesaro to end Smackdown after walking away from a match with Rusev in the middle of it, and Sheamus wrestled Dean Ambrose but that was just to further the Wya-She feud, so who the fuck knows what's happening.

BROCK LESNAR VS. UNDERTAKER
Everything about the setup for this on Raw was fantastic. The problem is, all this buildup is leading to Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker, and a year and a half ago, that match was literally only notable for it's inexplicable finish. So, you know, A for effort, but it's all pointless.

PRIME TIME PLAYERS VS. NEW DAY
New Day cost the PTP a win against Los Matadores on Raw, so I guess someone saw their shadow and there's six more weeks of this feud.

ROMAN REIGNS VS. BRAY WYATT:
Not only is this continuing, and not only is Luke Harper wrestling on my television again, but Dean Ambrose is stuck with it too, so basically, this is 67% of a feud that played out two years ago. This extended to Smackdown in the predictable way.

RANDY ORTON VS. SHEAMUS
Following their shitty Battleground match, these two faced off as part of the tag match on Raw, but that match's story wasn't about them, and Orton wasn't on Smackdown, so who knows if this is done or not.

OH SHIT I HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE DIVAS NOW

Two solid matches on Raw, although the fewer good wrestlers there are in the ring with her, the less convincing Brie Bella is. But another win for Charlotte and a first win for Banks helps solidify this push for actual female athletes, so we'll see how long it lasts. The tag match on Smackdown featured a Bella win, but Sascha Banks didn't eat the pin, so all's still OK.

THE MIZ VS. BIG SHOW

With Ryback still chanting FEED ME MORE AMOXYCILLIN, we're left with Big Show beating the shit out of the Miz over and over again. This will go nowhere but the segments will be over quickly.

And the NXT Roster Feuds/Stories:

BAYLEY VS. THE NXT WOMEN'S TITLE

Looks like the booking is headed once again towards the crowning of Bayley, to get the belt off Banks freeing Banks to fight on the main roster. Bayley defeated Emma, getting revenge for her injury, and wants Charlotte in two weeks. Charlotte has to wrestle Dana Brooke first because there is no god.

KEVIN OWENS VS. FINN BALOR
Contract signing! Contract signings are fun and people always punch each other!

THE NXT ROSTER VS. OPPONENTS ALREADY IN THE RING.

The other three matches this week all featured jobbers. Joe got another squash, Corbin got an instasquash - literally hitting his finisher as the first and only move in the match - and the Vaudevillains got a competitive squash which featured Simon Gotch grabbing his own ankle and using his own foot as a weapon to break a submission hold, because Simon Gotch is fucking awesome.

EVA MARIE:
Eva Marie had her first match after training really hard to become a legitimate wrestler, and all her hard work paid off - now, with a competent opponent, she can look almost as good as Dana Brooke and perform a half-speed Sliced Bread #2 as her finisher! Do not expect her to be called up as part of the WWE's new "legitimate women's athletics" push.