DCCU Trailers: My Top Three Hates

San Diego Comic Con came and went, and left in its wake were trailers for both Suicide Squad and Batman Vs. Superman.

I make no bones about my hate for Zack Snyder, Man of Steel, or the DC Cinematic Universe taking it's no-joy, no-fun cues from self-hating superhero movies like Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy. But I'd harbored secret hopes for Suicide Squad, because sometimes, Suicide Squad has been a dark comedy, and maybe some of that would leak through. Nope.

The three biggest things I hated from the Suicide Squad trailer:

  1. That Fucking Song: Ethereal lady-covers of old songs are already this year's old-hat trailer bullshit. Going with the Bee Gees' "I Started A Joke" completely unironically just shows how misguided these fuckers are. It's so on the nose and so awful I just want to keep punching it and never stop.
  2. Will Smith Talking: I can't remember if these are his only two lines from the trailer, but Will Smith saying "some kind of Suicide Squad" and "Let's go save the world" are fucking awful. The first because, again, hit the viewer over the head, and the second, well, because the Suicide Squad wouldn't say that. They'd say "I guess we have to save the world because we have bombs implanted in our necks."
  3. Harley Quinn: This Harley seems to be taking cues from the Arkham games' Harley - all splits and pouting and licking and frills. Fuck that noise. Proper Harley or get the fuck out.

And, while I'm here, the three things I hated most about the Batman vs. Superman trailer:

  1. The Batman Vs. Superman Trailer: Seriously, the whole thing is so fucking maudlin and pretentious and pointlessly dark. All the Dark Knight Returns influence is fine, but DKR worked within the context of decades of existing Batman and Superman stories. This exists within the context of one shitty Superman movie. It's just a shortcut. Maybe this story works in six years or so after some movies where Batman's just Batman and Superman's just Superman, but using DKR to essentially lead up to the formation of the Justice League is madness.
  2. Lex Luthor: Proper Lex Luthor is a crazy billionaire industrialist with an irrational hate-on for Superman. Since that role is apparently being played in this movie by Bruce Wayne, they made this Lex Luthor an irritating douchewaffle. Yay.
  3. Superman Protest Signs: I follow politics. I've seen a lot of angry mob protest signs. You know what they don't look like? The "SUPERMAN - ILLEGAL ALIEN" sign in this trailer. Maybe put down the Adobe Creative Suite and pick up some cardboard and magic marker and start misspelling some words if you're going for realism, assholes.