Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (May 29-July 4)

My cable box fucked up and so I missed 75% of Smackdown, so a lot of this will be going off of recaps because apparently "get it on demand if you missed it" is an alien concept to the WWE when it comes to their two most important shows. Anyway, where were we?

LUCHA UNDERGROUND IS STILL AWESOME

This was a relatively light week for Lucha Underground. No Aztec medallions were fought for. There was a title match between Prince Puma and Chavo Guerrero Jr., but it was mostly to further Chavo's season-long story about his feud with the Mexico wrestling scene due to his treatment of Blue Demon Jr.

Alberto El Patron got a squash to promote his Ultima Lucha match with Johnny Mundo, Texano got his win over Daivari and cost Chavo the title match as part of "Mexico"'s revenge. Drago and Hernandez continued their micro-feud, amping it up to what I have to assume is a match at Ultima Lucha. But this was a slow burn week.

WWE

We've got a double build going on, as we build towards the mixed NXT/WWE Tokyo show on July 4, and Battleground later in the month. On the main roster, here are the big feuds, ranked by their importance to me:

KEVIN OWENS VS. JOHN CENA
Best feud in WWE all year. I know I'm biased, but on Raw, John Cena wrestled Cesaro for 10+ minutes with Owens on commentary, before Owens ended the match by pop-up powerbombing both of them. Great wrestling, great emotion, great booking, just great all around. Nothing happened on Smackdown as far as I can tell, but of course Beast in the East has major impolications for this feud (see NXT section). Owens really needs to take the title at Battleground at this point. No two ways around it.

SETH ROLLINS VS. BROCK LESNAR
Month 89 of Seth Rollins delivering long promos in the ring with The Authority continues apace, with Rollins dramatically overselling the capabilities of the Apple Watch and then there was a hula dancer.and a car and that was almost 20 minutes of the show. And then the show ended with Ambrose, Reigns, and Terminator: Genisys in a six man tag with Rollins, Kane, and the Cadillac CTS that ends in an Authority beatdown. Well, mostly. See below.

PRIME TIME PLAYERS VS. NEW DAY
Hey, that eight man with the Lucha Dragons and Bo Dallas got wrestled again on Raw. Same team won, but a different guy got the pin. Yawn. Oh, and PTP squashed Ascension on Smackdown to fill time.

ROMAN REIGNS VS. BRAY WYATT:
Wyatt talked creepy on the Raw Titantron for the four millionth time in his career. Then he comes out during the main event, beats up Reigns so that the Authority can spend another minute beating up Reigns so that he can come out after and beat up Reigns again. At least he wasn't pretending to kidnap Reigns daughter. Reigns spent the part of Smackdown I could see barely managing to make it back in time to wrestle Seth Rollins then get beat down by the Authority then get rescued by Dean Ambrose in incredibly standard booking. Oh, and Reigns entrance started at the 7-count after the bell rang and took like a minute and half, so if you're wondering what the rules of wrestling are, that makes two of us. On Smackdown, Wyatt wrestled Dean Ambrose because Ambrose doesn't have a feud of his own.

DOLPH ZIGGLER & LANA VS. RUSEV'S HEART AND SOME DIVA:
Raw featured a really awkward in-ring bit with Ziggler and Lana declaring their undying for probably three more weeks love between them. And then Rusev comes out with Summer Rae, who I guess is the blond Diva who was telling him Lana wasn't worth it last week. I guess this angle needed Summer Rae just to tip the awfulness into the red zone. Man, I wish Rusev hadn't hurt his foot. The in-ring Smackdown segment with Summer Rae talking even more did nothing to appease me.

NEVILLE VS. SHEAMUS MAYBE?

I don't know if Neville vs. Sheamus on Raw was a filler match based on their old feud and the two of them having nothing to do, or the start of something.for Battleground. The problem is, Sheamus doesn't realize that "people not liking him" means he's a heel. Nobody wants to see him lose because nobody wants to see him, period. Beating Neville in a mediocre match won't change that. On an unrelated note, Neville and Jericho put on a damn fine opening match at Beast of the East. Nice to see both the old-school high-angle Walls of Jericho and the Liontamer broken out.

RYBACK VS. BIG SHOW VS. THE MIZ
On Raw, Ryback attacked Big Show after Big Show wrestled Mark Henry and then Ryback wrestled The Miz who got added to this feud which is singlehandedly destroying the work they did building up the Intercontinental Championship over the first half of 2015 and all this happened after the Rollins stuff on Raw so that was the first 40 minutes of a three hour show straight in the toilet.

And the NXT Roster Feuds/Stories:

KEVIN OWENS VS. FINN BALOR / SAMOA JOE
The obvious tag match - Owens/Rhyno vs. Joe/Balor - main evented NXT to set up the Beast in the East title match. I think they made Joe's music worse. I thought Finn pinning Owens on NXT meant an Owens win at Beast in the East, but in another incredible match, Balor won the title and I am not ashamed to admit I marked out, and marked out hard. Finn Balor needs to carry the belt at least until Zayn or Itami are ready to return, feud with Breeze the whole time, and eventually drop the belt to Breeze, because other than Rhyno, what main event heels are there in NXT right now?

TYLER BREEZE
Still exists. Wrestled Ty Dillinger in a "yes, he still works here and we like him" match that also gave Dillinger a bit of extra singles cred.

JUSTIN JORDAN VS. HIS POTENTIAL TAG PARTNERS
Gable, who's thing I think is being deliberately obnoxious about trying to force his name and catchphrase on anyone he encounters, continues his quest to be Justin Jordan's new tag partner. It's strangely effective in defiance of all the laws of God and man.

ENZO AND CASS VS. BLAKE AND MURPHY:
Now Enzo and Cass are wrestling the Vaudevillains for a #1 contender's slot. In a perfect world, the VV's should win it and take the belts away from the why are they still the tag champs, but we all know that's not gonna happen. But at least we got another awesome match from the Vaudevillains, who I think are being positioned as semi-faces right now.

DANA BROOKE VS. MY APATHY
Brooks accompanied Emma, who's way better, in a match against Carmella, who I don't like but is still better than Brooke. So really that's a good way to use her this week. Standing around and not talking. Then they had to ruin it with an awkward backstage interview setting up Emma/Brooke vs. Sascha Banks / Mystery Partner probably next week.

EVA MARIE VS. CREDIBILITY:
She can do moves! In a ring! When nobody's watching! She's a wrestler, really she is!

BARON CORBIN VS. BARON CORBIN
Another three move jobber squas for Baron Corbin. The Full Sail crowd is now fully against him, and not as a heel. They're just sick of him for obvious reasons.

BULL DEMPSEY VS. SNACKS
Bull Dempsey started life as a cable access Kevin Owens knockoff before Owens even made it to NXT. They've changed his gimmick to "fat guy who can't control his eating" in what's going to go down as one of the all time worst gimmick ideas in WWE history.