Nerd Super Bowl Wrapup

And so, the Nerd Super Bowl is over. And I have to say, going in with low expectations did not hurt. Let's revisit the predictions and results real quick.

OVERALL ENJOYMENT OF THE SHOW:

It did drag. There's no doubt about that. But at least two of the matches I expected to suck like the void itself ended up being pretty damn entertaining. A 30% smaller turd than I was expecting.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar (C) vs. Roman Reigns

I got this one 80% right. Reigns and Lesnar did beat the holy hell out of each other. Rollins did cash in. But in a Money In The Bank twist, he cashed in before the end of the match, not after, turning it into an impromptu Triple Threat he won by pinning Reigns instead of Lesnar. So we're still on track for a no-DQ triple threat in a month at Extreme Rules. Also, whether by design or sloppiness, that was the stiffest match I've seen in ages. That looked PAINFUL. In a "good" way, not the way I was expecting.

Sting vs. Triple H

I fuckbotched this prediction, but in my defense, I didn't think they were booking this as the grand finale to the Monday Night Wars, with every ancient motherfucker from the 90's shambling out to the ring to interfere. If I'd known that was the story, instead of Sting Vs. the Authority that was the entire buildup, I'd have called it differently. HHH's Terminator-themed intro was easily the most unintentionally funny thing of the night.

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match: Bad News Barrett (C) vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth

Called it. Decent match, some good spots. The headbutts at the end were insane. If reports are true, it looks like I also correctly predicted Luke Harper hurting someone (Dean Ambrose).

Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins

Called it. Wasn't as bad as I was expecting, mostly because of Seth Rollins and partly because Randy Orton moves 15% faster as a face than he does as a heel. Inventive finish, albeit one that requires a fair amount of Wrestling Fizziks.

Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker

Another correct prediction. OK match if you have emotional investment in the Undertaker, which I don't. Story was stupid. Bray Wyatt, the New Spooky, called out Undertaker, the Old Spooky, for a big Spooky-Off. Undertaker defeats without being particularly spooky, which leaves Bray Wyatt where the WWE always leaves Bray Wyatt - cutting Spooky Backstage Promos as if the loss never happened and he's just arbitrarily decided on a new target for his backwoods spookiness.

The Bella Twins vs. AJ Lee & Paige

Called this one too. It was exactly as expected.

United States Title: Rusev (C) vs. John Cena

Another correct prediction. Disappointing finish. I would have liked Rusev to kick out of at least one Cena finisher. But Rusev was awesome as usual, Cena brought effort because Wrestlemania, and RUSEV RODE IN ON A MOTHERFUCKING TANK.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

I did get a little bit of what I wanted here, with Mizdow eliminating Miz, but unfortunately, Big Show was still in the ring and won. I have to wonder if we'll even see this event a year from now, with it being unceremoniously dumped to the pre-show and the win given to a legacy guy instead of being used to promote new talent.

Tag-Team Title Match: Cesaro & Kidd (C) vs. The Usos vs. A New Day vs. Los Matadores
I got this one wrong too, but again got mostly what I wanted instead - Cesaro and Kidd retaining. This match didn't really help the tag division at all, no matter how much the announcers say it.

OTHER BUSINESS:

If The Rock keeps making surprise appearances, they're going to stop being surprises. This bit of padding with Rhonda Rousey was a good idea stretched out about three times longer than it should have been, because fuck pacing, this is the WWE.

The concept of a "Wrestlemania Moment" lost all meaning last night, as approximately four thousand Wrestlemania Moments were either declared by announcers right after they happened, were called Wrestlemania Moments literally while they were happening, or, in a couple of egregious instances, PRE-IDENTIFIED BY IN-RING TALENT. I'm looking at you, Steph, No more using the phrase "Wrestlemania Moment" until after Wrestlemania ends.

Comments

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If Rousey is wrong...

The only thing Ms Rousey didn't do is say, "This is for that Bark Like a Dog storyline."

I may have marked out. A bit.

The bar was low, but the championship match was stiff as hell, Mizdow and the Big Show had some non-verbal moments that were gold, and the Wyatt and the Scarecrows were adorable.

And I love the Edge & Christian-era heelishness of cashing in Money in the Bank IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH.

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