The Mistake

I've referred to this a few times in various places, but I've been saving the whole story for Forkbastard, and the time (in short supply right now) and energy (even shorter supply) to write it up properly.

Cooking is many things. An art, a craft, an exploration of flavor, a way of communicating culture and history, a lot of fun, and a chore.

But most importantly, COOKING IS SHARP AND HOT.

Now, for the most part, I have emerged largely unscathed from what is now 15 years of learning how to cook. I've never cut myself badly enough to need more than a large band-aid. I've never burned myself enough to need medical attention. This is still true, but a few weeks ago, it came hellaciously close to not being true anymore.

That was... five days after the incident. What happened? Well, I was making a quick curry. I'd already made a wet masala (including spinach, a new variation), and had a couple of pounds of cubed chicken breast marinating in it, in a big rectangular plastic container in the fridge.

So, as I usually do in these cases, I got the big cast iron dutch oven nice and hot, added a couple of tablespoons of ghee and a couple tablespoons of olive oil to it, got that nice and hot, and went to spoon the chicken into the pot.

At which point the entire 2-3 pounds of chicken and marinade freed itself from the plastic, slid out in a solid block, and landed square in the center of the pan from about a foot away, splashing the hot ghee and oil into my face, and giving me the worst origin story of any Batman villain ever.

Luckily, it all landed above the eyebrows. Well, not all all. I did discover, later, a couple of small burns on the tops of my eyelids. You can see them in the picture, but honestly, I didn't even feel them. Most of it was on the forehead, plus about three good hits on my arms. The arms blistered a bit. The head would have blistered, except that, well, there's not enough meat in the forehead to really make a blister, so it just oozed for a few days.

But on the upside, proper application of cold and aloe and dressings meant that after about a week and a half, everything healed up nicely, with minimal to no scarring. So, yeah. I'M STILL PRETTY.

Is there a moral to this story, and easily the single worst injury I've ever had while cooking? Probably not. I suppose I could tell you to be careful, and when being careful doesn't work, be prepared, and when being prepared doesn't work, know how to get to Urgent Care. Because cooking is sharp and hot.


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Ouchie! That's worse than anything i've done burn wise. Did almost lose a finger whilst cleaning a knife though.

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