Guy Fieri Has An Entourage

So one of the things that crossed my eyeballs in my giant krill-stream of RSS news that I feed off of for YAD is a two minute video of Guy Fieri talking about his 19-20 person entourage.

This is simultaneously the best and worst thing ever, at least as it relates to Guy Fieri.

I mean, the worst is the worst for the obvious reasons. Fieri has taken to celebrity like Whitney Houston took to crack. So he's hired a bunch of people to take him places and take care of him and handle events and such. And because he's Guy Fieri, he's given them all nicknames like "Gorilla" and "Machete" (which he mispronounces) and "Meister Brau" and "The Cuban".

Now, since Gorilla is a driver, Meister Brau is security, The Cuban cooks (even Fieri won't eat his own food, I guess) and Machete handles "fun and entertainment", I can only assume the other fifteen people are in charge of making every single aspect of Guy Fieri's life as punchable as possible. Because there have to be things even Guy Fieri would normally do that you wouldn't want to punch him for, and he needs a full-time staff to identify and fill punchability gaps.

But here's the reason why it might be the best thing in the world. If Guy Fieri has a 20 person entourage, that means he's gotta be going through money like MC Hammer and Nicholas Cage put together. Which means that when his star falls, as it inevitably will, there should be some awesome fucking stories about how he didn't save anything and his house is getting foreclosed on and nobody's buying the "Minute To Win It" DVD season sets.

And then he'll become a DJ on Sirius Radio playing Van Halen all the time. Just the Sammy Hagar years.

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I love a good train wreck

As I am completely ignorant of how RSS Feeds work, any chance of a link to said video?

RSS, Link

RSS feeds just push web content to an RSS reader, like Google Reader. For example, if you use Forkbastard's RSS feed, every time I make a new post, it will be added automatically to the list of new content in your reader, along with all the other posts and articles from all the other sites you've subscribed to.

So the video was just out there on a website, and it got picked up on in an artcile by the Huffington Post, which then showed up in the stream of articles that pour into my Google Reader constantly.

 

Gotcha

I can see how that would save a lot of time, maybe I'll have to start using it.

AWESOME hubris on the part of the old Guyster. He's totally clueless as to his complete and utter douchebagginess, doesn't seem to get that the interviewer is lampooning the shit outta him. Wish I had a time machine so I could fast-forward to "Former Food Network "Stars": Where Are They Now?", just to see what kinda trailer he'll be living in.

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