It's been a long time since I've gotten to try new flavor-dusted fried starches. Part of that is because I've been trying to eat fewer flavor-dusted fried starches, and part of it has been a general reluctance on the part of snack companies to come up with new dust.

But some timetableaa must have ticked over, because I've been seeing new Doritos and Ruffles in stores, and, coincidentally, had cause to try them out.

Growing vegetables on the deck has been part of the plan since we moved in to the new house a year ago. Last year, we did basil and rosemary in a couple of window boxes, and it was pretty successful. This year, things are ramping up.

Lessons learned! This past weekend, I once again dove into the depths of my smoker for round two of smoked barbecue pork. Some friends were coming over to help me work on the house, and it was a good excuse to cook for them.

The pig has arrived. My chest freezer is full to bursting with hams, roasts, loins, chops, sausages, and nine, count them nine, packages of bacon.

And so, my obsession with smoking things begins.

As I believe I mentioned, the ongoing attempts to clean out the chest freezer pre-porksplosion led to me to discover a few pounds of pork shoulder and a chuck roast in the freezer. Last Friday, these became the test cases for the first use of the side fire box for barbecue.

THURSDAY: Bought avocados from Costco. They were priced quite reasonably, and I hadn't made guac in a while.

THURSDAY: Set avocados on the counter to ripen.

SUNDAY: Noticed avocados were ripe. Planned to make guac. Plans fell through.

MONDAY MORNING: Went to make guac. Used four avocados. Out of four, a total of FOUR were perfectly ripe, with no browning or bruising.

THIS NEVER HAPPENS.

I present to you... MEGAGRILLAZORD.

Yes, I have made good on last year's promise. If I learned to handle the grilling part properly over the course of last summer, I could get the add-on accessories for the grill - the side fire box for smoking, and the motorized rotisserie.

I am not, as you all know, a religious person.

That said, the closest I come to either Judaism or Christianity over the course of the year happened today, when I bought this year's supply (six bags) of Cadbury Dark CHocolate Mini Eggs, also known as the greatest candy in the universe.

I have spent the last few weeks living off the land, as it were. Having blown pretty much all the disposable income on an iPad upgrade, and much of the food budget on a big Bollywood party (where I made a fairly standard chicken/veg curry, but there was a lot of it plus snacks), I have been turning to my freezer.

This Aloo Palak recipe from Forkbastard Circa 2009?

http://www.forkbastard.com/node/74

Still works. Plus, I learned today that if you don't have heavy cream, you can substitute half-and-half. You just have to up the quantity by 150% and let it cook down a bit longer in the final stage.

THE MORE YOU KNOW.